Parenting an issue ?

Mold it the way you want hold it till it doesn’t get firm after all they are your ‘Taare Zameen Par’

Today do we really need education of children, rather than we need to educate on parenting issues, Earlier if we see mostly women or mother were not educated and used to work around the household chores, time changed and so the thinking that a women should be educated to know her rights and to guide through her kids well, But to the grit do we find that today’s young working and much educated women’s are very unstable in relationship building and carrying them ahead, why so?
I am dealing largely with the students and so with their parents, to extend of my surprise, I have came across time and again that now when we have sent the kids to study here our responsibility is over? My mind struck on how can parents, ever withdraw by saying so.
Are we being parents too busy to see what is going on in our children life? Are we trying to understand and to communicate with the children? Do we get time on dinner tables to discuss the whole day activities?

All we have is social media communication parents are added in friends list, and the days are celebrated as they have their parents for that particular day i.e. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and so on. Our relations are largely today depending on days, the guidance that used to start from homes earlier now starts from the crèche or day care? Give a thought before you leave your toddler in the hands of strangers?

Build a place for interaction and communication to discipline kids from toddlers to teens to adolescents there are many ways for parents to improve building strong communication channel and a positive relationships.

Parenting Techniques:-
Try to spend time on a regular basis to do something fun with your child, in doing so many things can be observed in children, Adolescents ,  discipline is the demand of this time so try to implement in front of the children. Agree on what behavior is desirable and not desirable. Today we hardly respond on undesirable behavior of the children. Look for gradual changes in behavior. Don’t expect too much. Praise behavior that is coming closer to the desired goal. Reward desirable behavior as much as possible by verbal praise, touch or something tangible such as a toy, food or money.

The “3 Fs” of Effective Parenting:-

Firm:- Consequences should be clearly stated and then adhered to when the inappropriate behavior occurs.

Fair:- The punishment should fit the crime. Also in the case of recurring behavior, consequences should be stated in advance so the child knows what to expect.

Friendly:-
 Use a friendly but firm communication style to let children share everything with you as a friend instead they share it anywhere else and get an inappropriate advice.

 

INEFFECTIVE PARENTING EFFECT’S:-

This is notably because youth is a time for experimentation and identity forming:-

Drug abuse among children and adolescents is higher this is notably because youth is a time for experimentation and identity forming. (This is the time when they try to find out the person in them the Physical and psychological changes as well plus these days the negligence and peer following are some of the major reasons why adolescents are the vulnerable population to fall prey of this giant abuse) Followed by an association with particular youth subcultures and lifestyles fashion and to trend among their peers,

Report:-

In India an NGO survey revealed that 63.6 % of patients coming in for treatment were introduced to drugs at a young age below 15 years. According to another report 13.1% of the people involved in drug and substance abuse in India, are below 20 years. Heroin, Opium, Alcohol, Cannabis and Propoxyphene is the five most common drugs being abused by children in India. A survey shows that of all alcohol, cannabis and opium users 21%, 3% and 0.1% are below the age of eighteen. An emerging trend about child drug abusers is the use of a cocktail of drugs through injection, and often sharing the same needle, which increases their risk of HIV infection. Overall 0.4% and 4.6% of total treatment seekers in various states were children.

 Lack of Parental Guidance and Communication which is acting as a helping agent:-

W.H.O. Report:-

If current trends continue, 250 million children alive today will be killed by tobacco.” The incidence of drug abuse among children and adolescents is higher than the general population. This is notably because youth is a time for experimentation and identity forming.

Lack of Education and Sensitization:-

There is a major problem in India that there are no sensitization programmes about drug abuse in schools or for children out of school. The use of tobacco is another major concern amongst children. In India 20 million children a year and nearly 55,000 children a day are drawn into a tobacco addition.

Street children and risks attached to them.:-

The use of certain drugs such as whitener, alcohol, tobacco, hard and soft drugs is especially wide spread among street children, working children and trafficked children the high use of intravenous drugs is accompanied by sharing of needles and hence a high prevalence of HIV/AIDS.  Children affected by Substance Abuse and other criminal activities they fall in.

NGO’s ,Help Groups, Psychologists, Therapist’s, Correction centers :-

There are many NGO’s and Help groups which are working day and night to Echo on such social evils and the role of proper Parenting techniques. Not only substance abuse but now we have internet as a source of wrong information provider and a place to get trapped in wrong groups and sites.
Parents should acknowledge the source of information what their kids are getting and how to put restrictions on them. They should understanding the unique needs of a toddler or adolescent, seeking alternatives to time-outs or punishment, or ending physical or emotional violence within the family, Violence is another cause that children notice at home and get emotional trauma and to deal with it they fall prey of various ill habits, plus the family structure in India is also a bigger reason of parenting problems,

The nuclear family system:-

The nuclear family system and suspending the traditional joint family system where children used to have someone always at home to look after them and their activities.

At last you are the one who is the first listener, the incentive provider, the guide, first friend, teacher,  role model, critics and an observer who else can better guide and judge the kids then the parents themselves but if things go wrong way always seek help!!!

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Mold it the way you want hold it till it doesn’t get firm after all they are your ‘Taare Zameen Par’

World Mental Health Day 10Oct

What a patient of Mental illness need is all Medicines, love, care , acceptance, proper channel of communication, Treatment by Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Counsellors, social workers.

What comes to mind when thinking of a person suffering from Depression or Manic disorder or OCD ? A Crack person ? weird ? An abnormal person who doesn’t suits to be in society or a danger to others ? Yes to some extend a normal mind doesn’t except someone suffering from any mental ailment, on the other hand why do we take as a part of life any PHYSICAL AILMENT ?

 

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 According to the World Health Organisation, ‘if we don’t act urgently, by 2030 depression will be the leading illness globally.’ And this is not wrong to say  as we have become more of slaves of our needs and to full fill working like slaves of our own needs day and night, how much do we interact with each other at the end of the day.
Mobiles has taken place of social interaction and that too which goes in vein and useless when help is needed, do we have real friend hardly any shoulder to support us emotionally, but we know the status of friends on our social networking friends list.

How much we are surrounded with technology to which we praise but are we able to balance our real relations and share that grim gloomy sad days with someone.

Relations are only sticked upon girlfriend and boyfriend, but do they last long , is there believe faith ? Are they working ?

At large Marriages are not working anymore today.

Depression loneliness sadness overburdened with performance no matter wether it is children, elders , professionals, its like we are running in a rat race which has no end today .

I see parents coming and saying now its your duty to see our kids we have submitted the fees ? is it so really ? The role of parenting ends on just sending kids to colleges and paying fees ?

i suffered from Psychological disorder in which my parents my family supported in healing my heart. What a patient of Mental illness need is all Medicines, love, care , acceptance, proper channel of communication, Treatment by Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Counsellors, social workers.

Don’t make Mental illness a stereotype, Myths, and relating it with ‘PAGALPAN’ (Madness)

BY
writerspointfinallogo

ONE WORLD FAMILY

HOW NAME ASSOCIATES AND DIFFERENTIATE US ON RELIGIOUS BARRIER AND DIVIDES US WITH ALL THE OTHER CATEGORIES AS WE ARE NOT HUMANS BUT HUMAN SPECIES LIKE ANIMALS,

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As we grow in harmony and brotherhood subsequently with the time we starts or the society starts defining us on various line, our name is asked when name comes there is lot that starts to build around us to which I can say the lines or barriers or boundaries, our name doesn’t carry our identity alone but the things attached to it they do carry the religion, the caste, the sub caste, creed, gender, or believes faith, book religious practices related to particular religion etc. This is the time when we learn that world is not what we used to perceive as in childhood sharing food in same plate, drinking ‘jhoota pani’ sharing same water, the other thing that is associated with name is our class, economic status, and it teaches how we are different from others and how to or not to associate and with whom and when all this covers us and nature and a particular personality starts coming up or build up.

With different perspectives of being superior or inferior from others how to contribute in society does that contribution pays us something or not. Thus childhood fragile and open minded kid is captured in this trap of self-esteem, ego, differentiation, leaving all the class room moral stories and brotherhood, sharing all this lag behind and we become a person with identity and ideology which further plays a role in our ego development if ideology doesn’t matches to ours own then the other person is being judged and so it become a process.
Today we are busy judging each other on the baseless reasons whether religion, cast, beliefs, eating habits’ dressing, physical appearance etc but we are judging no matter what, in what way, Society is standing parted, The base of humanity is left behind somewhere which was the first thing sent to us by our creator, Humbleness’, forgiving, accepting the way other is, spirituality.

Instead of finding and tagging anyone on their religious count do we ever try to find his/her spiritual aspect, humanitarian aspect?
Carry all religious book and see what they hold is …………
By
WRITERSPOINT

The Eleven
Points

Inconsistent messages from Muslim leadership have created increased risk of extremism and radicalization. The True Islam campaign aims to

 

provide all Americans a clear way to distinguish true Islam from extremism and to unify Muslim Americans on the correct understanding of Islam that Prophet Muhammad taught. To this end, the following 11 points have been selected as key tenets of True Islam that differentiate it from extremism. True Islam establishes the correct Islamic understanding of the following 11 points.

SUPPORT THIS CAMPAIGN

True Islam is a religion that…

Wholly Rejects all forms of Terrorism
Believes in Non-Violent Jihad of the self and of the pen
Believes in the Equality education and empowerment of Women
Advocates Freedom of conscience, religion and Speech
Advocates for the Separation of Mosque and state
Believes in Loyalty to your Country of residence
Believes in Loyalty to your Country of residence encompasses the Universal declaration of Human Rights
Believes in all Verses of the Qur’an and forbids lying
Recognizes No Religion can Monopolize salvation
Believes in the Need for unified Muslim Leadership
Wholly Rejects the concept of a Bloody Messiah

 

 

 

‘Failure’ is not the last key to unsuccessful Life.

Do remember failure is the key to success do not lose hope-‘Hold the key to door till it doesn’t gets unlock ‘Every performer has his own place on a stage; it is set just mark your place’ and identify the best suited role you can play.

‘Failure’ is not the last key to unsuccessful Life.

 

Career Plan this is the high time when schools and colleges are busy with admissions, and students and parents busy dealing with the overall stress, of their kids previous examination performance and of the upcoming competition’s and the related stressors and overall scenario whether it is the monetary fixation and deciding upon what educational stream their kids should opt for from my past experience as a counselor.

I have  found that most of the students are primarily  confused about the course or program me  they want to make their career in, second thing that they face  immense pressure of their parents, friends relatives etc.

Peer pressure is commonly found factor among the youngster to opt the same as their friends are opting, although the point to ponder on is our interest, the understanding knowledge of a particular subject, retaining power of brain the capacity and capability to perform in a particular course.

Every Program is differently designed and so is the understanding power of the students. The stressors to opt a program even after knowing the performance of their kid’s parents insist due to societal stigma of having their kids to be seen as doctors and engineers.

This is 21st century use the resource of well being around you, study about various subjects, the openings related, arrange meetings with counselors, talk to parents, but do not only buy a subject because of its market value, first evaluate yourself, All you have to do is you have to do it no one else select a program according to your performance level and believe me every subject has its own place and everyone can do wonders in life.

Identify your problems

Primarily identification and interpretation of stressors, secondly analysis the available resources that can help you to get out of the situations, then to cop up with the stress factors, as at every stage of life we have to perform there is no escapism to live life. Situations those are not favorable acts as an stressor and generates the feeling of fear anxiety, effecting the performance. Identify your fear factors analysis and talk about them, these days communication gap between parents and children is wider and thus it is a major factor.

Do remember failure is the key to success do not lose hope-‘Hold the key to door till it doesn’t gets unlock ‘Every performer has his own place on a stage; it is set just mark your place’ and identify the best suited role you can play.

BY S.L.Bilgrami