Today do we really need education of children, rather than we need to educate on parenting issues, Earlier if we see mostly women or mother were not educated and used to work around the household chores, time changed and so the thinking that a women should be educated to know her rights and to guide through her kids well, But to the grit do we find that today’s young working and much educated women’s are very unstable in relationship building and carrying them ahead, why so?
I am dealing largely with the students and so with their parents, to extend of my surprise, I have came across time and again that now when we have sent the kids to study here our responsibility is over? My mind struck on how can parents, ever withdraw by saying so.
Are we being parents too busy to see what is going on in our children life? Are we trying to understand and to communicate with the children? Do we get time on dinner tables to discuss the whole day activities?
All we have is social media communication parents are added in friends list, and the days are celebrated as they have their parents for that particular day i.e. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and so on. Our relations are largely today depending on days, the guidance that used to start from homes earlier now starts from the crèche or day care? Give a thought before you leave your toddler in the hands of strangers?
Build a place for interaction and communication to discipline kids from toddlers to teens to adolescents there are many ways for parents to improve building strong communication channel and a positive relationships.
Try to spend time on a regular basis to do something fun with your child, in doing so many things can be observed in children, Adolescents , discipline is the demand of this time so try to implement in front of the children. Agree on what behavior is desirable and not desirable. Today we hardly respond on undesirable behavior of the children. Look for gradual changes in behavior. Don’t expect too much. Praise behavior that is coming closer to the desired goal. Reward desirable behavior as much as possible by verbal praise, touch or something tangible such as a toy, food or money.
The “3 Fs” of Effective Parenting:-
Firm:- Consequences should be clearly stated and then adhered to when the inappropriate behavior occurs.
Fair:- The punishment should fit the crime. Also in the case of recurring behavior, consequences should be stated in advance so the child knows what to expect.
Friendly:- Use a friendly but firm communication style to let children share everything with you as a friend instead they share it anywhere else and get an inappropriate advice.
INEFFECTIVE PARENTING EFFECT’S:-
This is notably because youth is a time for experimentation and identity forming:-
Drug abuse among children and adolescents is higher this is notably because youth is a time for experimentation and identity forming. (This is the time when they try to find out the person in them the Physical and psychological changes as well plus these days the negligence and peer following are some of the major reasons why adolescents are the vulnerable population to fall prey of this giant abuse) Followed by an association with particular youth subcultures and lifestyles fashion and to trend among their peers,
In India an NGO survey revealed that 63.6 % of patients coming in for treatment were introduced to drugs at a young age below 15 years. According to another report 13.1% of the people involved in drug and substance abuse in India, are below 20 years. Heroin, Opium, Alcohol, Cannabis and Propoxyphene is the five most common drugs being abused by children in India. A survey shows that of all alcohol, cannabis and opium users 21%, 3% and 0.1% are below the age of eighteen. An emerging trend about child drug abusers is the use of a cocktail of drugs through injection, and often sharing the same needle, which increases their risk of HIV infection. Overall 0.4% and 4.6% of total treatment seekers in various states were children.
Lack of Parental Guidance and Communication which is acting as a helping agent:-
If current trends continue, 250 million children alive today will be killed by tobacco.” The incidence of drug abuse among children and adolescents is higher than the general population. This is notably because youth is a time for experimentation and identity forming.
Lack of Education and Sensitization:-
There is a major problem in India that there are no sensitization programmes about drug abuse in schools or for children out of school. The use of tobacco is another major concern amongst children. In India 20 million children a year and nearly 55,000 children a day are drawn into a tobacco addition.
Street children and risks attached to them.:-
The use of certain drugs such as whitener, alcohol, tobacco, hard and soft drugs is especially wide spread among street children, working children and trafficked children the high use of intravenous drugs is accompanied by sharing of needles and hence a high prevalence of HIV/AIDS. Children affected by Substance Abuse and other criminal activities they fall in.
NGO’s ,Help Groups, Psychologists, Therapist’s, Correction centers :-
There are many NGO’s and Help groups which are working day and night to Echo on such social evils and the role of proper Parenting techniques. Not only substance abuse but now we have internet as a source of wrong information provider and a place to get trapped in wrong groups and sites.
Parents should acknowledge the source of information what their kids are getting and how to put restrictions on them. They should understanding the unique needs of a toddler or adolescent, seeking alternatives to time-outs or punishment, or ending physical or emotional violence within the family, Violence is another cause that children notice at home and get emotional trauma and to deal with it they fall prey of various ill habits, plus the family structure in India is also a bigger reason of parenting problems,
The nuclear family system:-
The nuclear family system and suspending the traditional joint family system where children used to have someone always at home to look after them and their activities.
At last you are the one who is the first listener, the incentive provider, the guide, first friend, teacher, role model, critics and an observer who else can better guide and judge the kids then the parents themselves but if things go wrong way always seek help!!!
Mold it the way you want hold it till it doesn’t get firm after all they are your ‘Taare Zameen Par’