Parenting an issue ?

Mold it the way you want hold it till it doesn’t get firm after all they are your ‘Taare Zameen Par’

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Today do we really need education of children, rather than we need to educate on parenting issues, Earlier if we see mostly women or mother were not educated and used to work around the household chores, time changed and so the thinking that a women should be educated to know her rights and to guide through her kids well, But to the grit do we find that today’s young working and much educated women’s are very unstable in relationship building and carrying them ahead, why so?
I am dealing largely with the students and so with their parents, to extend of my surprise, I have came across time and again that now when we have sent the kids to study here our responsibility is over? My mind struck on how can parents, ever withdraw by saying so.
Are we being parents too busy to see what is going on in our children life? Are we trying to understand and to communicate with the children? Do we get time on dinner tables to discuss the whole day activities?

All we have is social media communication parents are added in friends list, and the days are celebrated as they have their parents for that particular day i.e. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and so on. Our relations are largely today depending on days, the guidance that used to start from homes earlier now starts from the crèche or day care? Give a thought before you leave your toddler in the hands of strangers?

Build a place for interaction and communication to discipline kids from toddlers to teens to adolescents there are many ways for parents to improve building strong communication channel and a positive relationships.

Parenting Techniques:-
Try to spend time on a regular basis to do something fun with your child, in doing so many things can be observed in children, Adolescents ,  discipline is the demand of this time so try to implement in front of the children. Agree on what behavior is desirable and not desirable. Today we hardly respond on undesirable behavior of the children. Look for gradual changes in behavior. Don’t expect too much. Praise behavior that is coming closer to the desired goal. Reward desirable behavior as much as possible by verbal praise, touch or something tangible such as a toy, food or money.

The “3 Fs” of Effective Parenting:-

Firm:- Consequences should be clearly stated and then adhered to when the inappropriate behavior occurs.

Fair:- The punishment should fit the crime. Also in the case of recurring behavior, consequences should be stated in advance so the child knows what to expect.

Friendly:-
 Use a friendly but firm communication style to let children share everything with you as a friend instead they share it anywhere else and get an inappropriate advice.

 

INEFFECTIVE PARENTING EFFECT’S:-

This is notably because youth is a time for experimentation and identity forming:-

Drug abuse among children and adolescents is higher this is notably because youth is a time for experimentation and identity forming. (This is the time when they try to find out the person in them the Physical and psychological changes as well plus these days the negligence and peer following are some of the major reasons why adolescents are the vulnerable population to fall prey of this giant abuse) Followed by an association with particular youth subcultures and lifestyles fashion and to trend among their peers,

Report:-

In India an NGO survey revealed that 63.6 % of patients coming in for treatment were introduced to drugs at a young age below 15 years. According to another report 13.1% of the people involved in drug and substance abuse in India, are below 20 years. Heroin, Opium, Alcohol, Cannabis and Propoxyphene is the five most common drugs being abused by children in India. A survey shows that of all alcohol, cannabis and opium users 21%, 3% and 0.1% are below the age of eighteen. An emerging trend about child drug abusers is the use of a cocktail of drugs through injection, and often sharing the same needle, which increases their risk of HIV infection. Overall 0.4% and 4.6% of total treatment seekers in various states were children.

 Lack of Parental Guidance and Communication which is acting as a helping agent:-

W.H.O. Report:-

If current trends continue, 250 million children alive today will be killed by tobacco.” The incidence of drug abuse among children and adolescents is higher than the general population. This is notably because youth is a time for experimentation and identity forming.

Lack of Education and Sensitization:-

There is a major problem in India that there are no sensitization programmes about drug abuse in schools or for children out of school. The use of tobacco is another major concern amongst children. In India 20 million children a year and nearly 55,000 children a day are drawn into a tobacco addition.

Street children and risks attached to them.:-

The use of certain drugs such as whitener, alcohol, tobacco, hard and soft drugs is especially wide spread among street children, working children and trafficked children the high use of intravenous drugs is accompanied by sharing of needles and hence a high prevalence of HIV/AIDS.  Children affected by Substance Abuse and other criminal activities they fall in.

NGO’s ,Help Groups, Psychologists, Therapist’s, Correction centers :-

There are many NGO’s and Help groups which are working day and night to Echo on such social evils and the role of proper Parenting techniques. Not only substance abuse but now we have internet as a source of wrong information provider and a place to get trapped in wrong groups and sites.
Parents should acknowledge the source of information what their kids are getting and how to put restrictions on them. They should understanding the unique needs of a toddler or adolescent, seeking alternatives to time-outs or punishment, or ending physical or emotional violence within the family, Violence is another cause that children notice at home and get emotional trauma and to deal with it they fall prey of various ill habits, plus the family structure in India is also a bigger reason of parenting problems,

The nuclear family system:-

The nuclear family system and suspending the traditional joint family system where children used to have someone always at home to look after them and their activities.

At last you are the one who is the first listener, the incentive provider, the guide, first friend, teacher,  role model, critics and an observer who else can better guide and judge the kids then the parents themselves but if things go wrong way always seek help!!!

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Mold it the way you want hold it till it doesn’t get firm after all they are your ‘Taare Zameen Par’

World Mental Health Day 10Oct

What a patient of Mental illness need is all Medicines, love, care , acceptance, proper channel of communication, Treatment by Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Counsellors, social workers.

What comes to mind when thinking of a person suffering from Depression or Manic disorder or OCD ? A Crack person ? weird ? An abnormal person who doesn’t suits to be in society or a danger to others ? Yes to some extend a normal mind doesn’t except someone suffering from any mental ailment, on the other hand why do we take as a part of life any PHYSICAL AILMENT ?

 

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 According to the World Health Organisation, ‘if we don’t act urgently, by 2030 depression will be the leading illness globally.’ And this is not wrong to say  as we have become more of slaves of our needs and to full fill working like slaves of our own needs day and night, how much do we interact with each other at the end of the day.
Mobiles has taken place of social interaction and that too which goes in vein and useless when help is needed, do we have real friend hardly any shoulder to support us emotionally, but we know the status of friends on our social networking friends list.

How much we are surrounded with technology to which we praise but are we able to balance our real relations and share that grim gloomy sad days with someone.

Relations are only sticked upon girlfriend and boyfriend, but do they last long , is there believe faith ? Are they working ?

At large Marriages are not working anymore today.

Depression loneliness sadness overburdened with performance no matter wether it is children, elders , professionals, its like we are running in a rat race which has no end today .

I see parents coming and saying now its your duty to see our kids we have submitted the fees ? is it so really ? The role of parenting ends on just sending kids to colleges and paying fees ?

i suffered from Psychological disorder in which my parents my family supported in healing my heart. What a patient of Mental illness need is all Medicines, love, care , acceptance, proper channel of communication, Treatment by Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Counsellors, social workers.

Don’t make Mental illness a stereotype, Myths, and relating it with ‘PAGALPAN’ (Madness)

BY
writerspointfinallogo

Toothless Babbling Baby.

Happy Teachers Day, Mom’s are first teachers to hear us to understand us even when we are Toothless Babbling Babies.

When i start here it is quiet sure that i am confused, i remember that little spiral green diary !!! That my mom gave me, knowing that i love  to write and what i used to write were very little inappropriate peaces of little thinker, some letters some picture writing and some little stories that i jotted down there in little green diary without thinking or planning of what i was writing then.
Today i feel the importance of that diary and that prompt action of my mother which cherished me to write ever after.

Happy Teachers Day, Mom’s are first teachers to hear us to understand us even when we are Toothless Babbling Babies.

Matrimonial Site Conflict’s

Till you talk all about love its fair, the day you ask commitment it gets worse !!!

It can be quiet unimaginable to some that some one is going to share the Matrimonial Site Conflict’s, actually today i have really lost control over my emotions and now i don’t seek, think or feel it as my personal issue to be kept hidden. Going on a Matrimonial Site was never my own chosen concept, But Gods will and a desire to find a perfect or say a one Prince charming with perfection or no perfection,

Traits:- The Common found trait is to ask for some months of conversation to understand each other, But after ample of time when it comes to marriage or the involvement of parents things started getting sore bitter and what not.

Even though knowing the requirement of family, they are not essentially not revealed at the begging but as it comes closer to getting married or alliance, they start to come out one by one.

Till you talk all about love its fair, the day you ask commitment it gets worse !!!

#Generally people search for time pass relations.
#Asking for commitment is highly unappreciable.
#The day you connect, Emotional Attyachar starts.
#Over ‘you don’t believe me’ ?
#What if i have ever said ‘NO’.
#Literally i have faced such a heated slangs and abusive language and so much more.
#Pretend and Originality are two different things, there is no relation between both.

A Year On Site:-  It has only taught me not to believe on anyone and there is nothing called as #Love #LongTermRelationship #Commitment #Believe #Faith #Honesty #Marriage,

Lose of Innocence :- Again this can sound a bit weird but yes this is true i have lost my #Innocence #FaithInLove #Marriage and #FaithInPeople.

Emotional Loss:- Emotionally i am traumatised, i feel worthless to have a partner, outdated as not to have boyfriends but to wait and believe in the institution of marriage, But last what i get is emotional loss, depression incompetency within self after this kind of process where Guys are very much into the art of tracking down a girl like us making us to believe and then a setback and another and another and so on.

Thinking only about where i am wrong?

International YOGA DAY.

THE VERY HEART OF YOGA IS IN ABHAYAAS -STEADY EFFORT IN THE DIRECTION YOU WANT TO GO.

images-4The  practice of  yoga is a spiritual, mental and physical practices. Practices associated with yoga, such as meditation, asanas etc, have been recorded since at least 1000 B.C.

Yoga emerged as a great reliant source of energy so is the power of spirituality In general, it includes a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, and it typically involves a search for meaning in life. As such, it is a universal human experience—something that touches us all.

ONE WORLD FAMILY

HOW NAME ASSOCIATES AND DIFFERENTIATE US ON RELIGIOUS BARRIER AND DIVIDES US WITH ALL THE OTHER CATEGORIES AS WE ARE NOT HUMANS BUT HUMAN SPECIES LIKE ANIMALS,

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As we grow in harmony and brotherhood subsequently with the time we starts or the society starts defining us on various line, our name is asked when name comes there is lot that starts to build around us to which I can say the lines or barriers or boundaries, our name doesn’t carry our identity alone but the things attached to it they do carry the religion, the caste, the sub caste, creed, gender, or believes faith, book religious practices related to particular religion etc. This is the time when we learn that world is not what we used to perceive as in childhood sharing food in same plate, drinking ‘jhoota pani’ sharing same water, the other thing that is associated with name is our class, economic status, and it teaches how we are different from others and how to or not to associate and with whom and when all this covers us and nature and a particular personality starts coming up or build up.

With different perspectives of being superior or inferior from others how to contribute in society does that contribution pays us something or not. Thus childhood fragile and open minded kid is captured in this trap of self-esteem, ego, differentiation, leaving all the class room moral stories and brotherhood, sharing all this lag behind and we become a person with identity and ideology which further plays a role in our ego development if ideology doesn’t matches to ours own then the other person is being judged and so it become a process.
Today we are busy judging each other on the baseless reasons whether religion, cast, beliefs, eating habits’ dressing, physical appearance etc but we are judging no matter what, in what way, Society is standing parted, The base of humanity is left behind somewhere which was the first thing sent to us by our creator, Humbleness’, forgiving, accepting the way other is, spirituality.

Instead of finding and tagging anyone on their religious count do we ever try to find his/her spiritual aspect, humanitarian aspect?
Carry all religious book and see what they hold is …………
By
WRITERSPOINT

The Eleven
Points

Inconsistent messages from Muslim leadership have created increased risk of extremism and radicalization. The True Islam campaign aims to

 

provide all Americans a clear way to distinguish true Islam from extremism and to unify Muslim Americans on the correct understanding of Islam that Prophet Muhammad taught. To this end, the following 11 points have been selected as key tenets of True Islam that differentiate it from extremism. True Islam establishes the correct Islamic understanding of the following 11 points.

SUPPORT THIS CAMPAIGN

True Islam is a religion that…

Wholly Rejects all forms of Terrorism
Believes in Non-Violent Jihad of the self and of the pen
Believes in the Equality education and empowerment of Women
Advocates Freedom of conscience, religion and Speech
Advocates for the Separation of Mosque and state
Believes in Loyalty to your Country of residence
Believes in Loyalty to your Country of residence encompasses the Universal declaration of Human Rights
Believes in all Verses of the Qur’an and forbids lying
Recognizes No Religion can Monopolize salvation
Believes in the Need for unified Muslim Leadership
Wholly Rejects the concept of a Bloody Messiah

 

 

 

‘Failure’ is not the last key to unsuccessful Life.

Do remember failure is the key to success do not lose hope-‘Hold the key to door till it doesn’t gets unlock ‘Every performer has his own place on a stage; it is set just mark your place’ and identify the best suited role you can play.

‘Failure’ is not the last key to unsuccessful Life.

 

Career Plan this is the high time when schools and colleges are busy with admissions, and students and parents busy dealing with the overall stress, of their kids previous examination performance and of the upcoming competition’s and the related stressors and overall scenario whether it is the monetary fixation and deciding upon what educational stream their kids should opt for from my past experience as a counselor.

I have  found that most of the students are primarily  confused about the course or program me  they want to make their career in, second thing that they face  immense pressure of their parents, friends relatives etc.

Peer pressure is commonly found factor among the youngster to opt the same as their friends are opting, although the point to ponder on is our interest, the understanding knowledge of a particular subject, retaining power of brain the capacity and capability to perform in a particular course.

Every Program is differently designed and so is the understanding power of the students. The stressors to opt a program even after knowing the performance of their kid’s parents insist due to societal stigma of having their kids to be seen as doctors and engineers.

This is 21st century use the resource of well being around you, study about various subjects, the openings related, arrange meetings with counselors, talk to parents, but do not only buy a subject because of its market value, first evaluate yourself, All you have to do is you have to do it no one else select a program according to your performance level and believe me every subject has its own place and everyone can do wonders in life.

Identify your problems

Primarily identification and interpretation of stressors, secondly analysis the available resources that can help you to get out of the situations, then to cop up with the stress factors, as at every stage of life we have to perform there is no escapism to live life. Situations those are not favorable acts as an stressor and generates the feeling of fear anxiety, effecting the performance. Identify your fear factors analysis and talk about them, these days communication gap between parents and children is wider and thus it is a major factor.

Do remember failure is the key to success do not lose hope-‘Hold the key to door till it doesn’t gets unlock ‘Every performer has his own place on a stage; it is set just mark your place’ and identify the best suited role you can play.

BY S.L.Bilgrami

TRANS-A GENDER IDENTITY ISSUE.

An identity issue, that is stigmatized by the society.

“Viewer discretion advised”

K Prithika Yashini, aged around 25 years, is the first transgender person to become a police official in India.

There is a very insightful documentary on the subject titled “Kiss the Moon” by director Khalid Gill.

Hijras have been portrayed on screen in Indian cinema since its inception, historically as comic relief. Deepa Mehta’s Water features the hijra character “Gulabi” (played by Raghubir Yadav), who has taken to introducing the downtrodden, outcast widows of Varanasi to prostitution.

In August, 2015, a music video featuring 7 hijras dressed in outfits or uniforms of various professions and singing theNational Anthem of India created by a YouTube channel Yathartha Pictures went viral for being the first National Anthem video sung by hijras in India.The hijras featured in the video were brought together by the Humsafar Trust, a Mumbai-based NGO which promotes LGBT rights.

This has nothing to do with a persons faith believe or religion because Transgender is that mismatch between a persons gender identity expression, and their assigned sex they have conventional sexual orientation labels inadequate or inapplicable. They do not feel genuine, authentic, and comfortable within their external appearance as well as internal requirements now a days there are several medical reatments such as hormone replacement therapysex reassignment surgery, or psychotherapy. But the improper living condition economic deprivation isolation led them to live a miserable life.Gender identity issues, dual role , discomfort in an assigned gender, physical and psychological problems, hormonal imbalance, distress, disability , mental and emotional trauma due to rejection and so on.The social stigma attached to this specific human race still goes on even though its been six decades since our country gained independence and yet there is one important minority that still continues to live in constant fear and daily humiliation. It’s that sect whose very existence is treated as a crime. They are between us still they are seperated and seen as distinctive creature and this minority belong’s to all those who have alternative sexualities—lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders (LGBT).

Gazal Dhaliwal takes you back into a time when she was a girl trapped in a male body. She was taunted and humiliated in school and college but with her parents’ unconditional love and support, she underwent a biological sex reassignment surgery and is a confident woman today’The oppression and humiliation faced by gays and lesbians is no less tragic. They become aware of their different sexual orientation in a very homophobic society.The resultant confusion, fear and guilt haunt them through their youth but the society they belong to the lack of adaption by society as considering them being normal with what they are born. Deepak Kashyap, a counselling psychologist, experienced this first-hand while growing up—the fear and trauma even making him contemplate suicide. Despite associations of psychiatrists and psychologists all over the world stating that it is a normal human variant. Since heterosexuality is regarded as the universal norm,Some parents force heterosexual marriage on their gay son or daughter. The result is catastrophic not just for the individual but also for the person they are married to. However, some gays and lesbians have received love and support from their families who accepted their sexual orientation and this has been crucial for them to find happiness Some serial are continuously supporting and trying to educate puplic about the third gender as normal and should be adopted as what there orientation is.Many transgenders have with great courage completed their education despite the harassment, but are denied jobs or discriminated against.  Hirak Dey, who has her own beauty parlour in Raipur, and Veena Sendre who works as a beautician, prove that transgenders can all be gainfully employed and socially integrated. Today all of us have to be involved in the struggle against the discrimination and torture faced by the LGBT community. The biggest obstacle to equality for the LGBT community comes from the law. To our eternal shame, Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code still criminalizes homosexuality—even among consenting adults. It is considered to be ‘against the order of nature’ and such acts are punishable for a term which may extend to upto 10 years. This law is a blot on modern India and must be amended.

According to 2014 survey the third gender in the country is counts for 4.9 lakh. While transgender activists estimate the numbers to be six to seven times higher, they are thrilled that such a large number of people identified themselves as belonging to the third gender, despite the fact that the census counting happened well before the Supreme Court order gave legal recognition to the third gender in April 2014.
Countries Giving Transgender People Fundamental Rights the In total, seven countries now offer an alternative option on their legal documents, till 2014 the U.S. government does not allow for a third, non-specific gender option on legal documents. Particularly in Asia, countries like Australia has ruled that the government should recognize a third, neutral and non-specific gender besides the traditional “male” and “female” categories. With this landmark ruling, Australia also became the world’s sixth country to recognize a third gender option for its citizens. The first to do so on its census forms was Nepal, following a 2007 decision Supreme Court landmark decision ruling against gender identity discrimination. Nepal is believed to have become the world’s first country to include a third gender option on its census forms, which it initiated in 2011. India has long recognized a community of five to six millions Indians as “hijras,” citizens who don’t identify themselves as either male or female. For years all such Indians were grouped together broadly under the term “eunuchs,” despite the fact that only 10% of them identified as such. However, this changed in 2009, when the nation’s election authorities decided to formally allow an independent designation for intersex or transgender voters. The move meant that Indians could choose an “other” category indicating their gender in voter forms. Other countries in row are Pakistan Bangladesh Germany new Zealand Australia to recognize the third gender as a specific Gender .

 

Remembering the traffic instruction advertisement by the eunuchs, and similar to that was a seat belt awareness advertisement.

Bursting myths Hijras are often encountered in streets, trains and other public places, demanding money from young men. If refused, the   eunuchs may attempt to embarrass the person into giving money, using obscene gestures, profane language and even sexual advances. There are several myths surrounding the eunuchs community. Hijras are considered dangerous. They are known for bestowing blessings, but they can bestow not only blessings but curses too. The curse of childlessness is wielded as a weapon against anyone who refuses to give them money or makes fun of them. These eunuchs perform religious ceremonies at weddings and at the birth of male babies, involving music, singing and sexually suggestive dancing. These are intended to bring good luck and fertility.Although the eunuchs are most often uninvited, the host usually pays them ‘Many fear the eunuchs curse if they are not appeased, bringing bad luck or infertility, but for the fee they receive, they can bless goodwill and fortune to the newly born.

Hijras are said to be able to do this because since they do not engage in sexual activities, they accumulate their sexual energy which they can use to either ‘bestow a boon or a bane. Of the hijras we interviewed, Humaira narrates, “The notion widely held is that when we curse people, it is accepted by God but we do not curse them very often. We are instructed by our gurus not to curse people except in very extreme because our prayers go directly on arsh; our curses are accepted by Allah”.Another myth that is known about the hijras is regarding the burial of their dead bodies. While most of the   eunuchs interviewed during the research seemed apprehensive and reluctant to the question relating to the burial of their dead bodies, only one of them talked very briefly about it. According to Saima, (one of the eunuchs interviewed), the hijras bury their dead bodies at night and not during the daytime. This is so because although they bury their dead bodies in the same graveyard where all individuals/Muslims do, it is a widely believed notion that since the eunuchs an not give birth to a child, anyone who sees their dead body will tend to suffer from bad luck and infertility for the rest of their life. Thus it is evident that the identity of eunuchs is fabricated with myths and portrayals that might or might not be true.

Due to illiteracy and societal rejection the large number of LGBT are involved in such activities which harnesses them into the risk of HIV/AIDS, sex workers,

Transgender people in Indian politics Long history of transgender in Indian politics, in 1996 Kali stood for elections in Patna Munni ran for the elections in South Bombay that year. Kamla Jaan run and win the position of the mayor of Katni in MP.  Then there was Shabnam Mausi, who was elected to the Legislative Assembly in 2002 as well. Heera won a seat at the city council of Jabalpur, Meera won a similar position in Sehora, and so did Gulshan in Bina. In December 2000, Asha Devi became the mayor of Gorakhpur, and Kallu Kinnar was elected to the city council in Varanasi. Shabnam Mausi is the first transgender Indian or hijra to be elected to public office. She was an elected member of the Madhya Pradesh State Legislative Assembly from 1998 to 2003.In 2000 Shabnam Mausi became India’s first eunuch MP on 4 January 2015, independent candidate Madhu Bai Kinnar was elected as the mayor of RaigarhChhattisgarh becoming India’s first openly transgender mayor. Manabi Bandopadhyay became India’s first transgender college principal, On 5 November 2015, K. Prithika Yashini became the first transgender police officer in the state of Tamil Nadu.

Conchita Wurst is an Austrian pop recording artist In 2011, Neuwirth began appearing as Wurst – a female character noted for her beard from an early age he recognised that he was different from other children, initially believing that this was because there was “something wrong” with him.